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When was the last time you assumed something about someone? Be honest with yourself – was it last week, yesterday, or perhaps in the last five minutes. It’s human nature that we do. Our thoughts running 10,000 times faster than our common sense.
This evening as I sat in a quiet corner of my favorite thinking place I watched a young mother with her little boy. I contemplated what she’d do if I asked to have an interview with her. I can only image what she thought of me as I sat there smiling at them. Perhaps she thought I was like the rest of society and just staring. However, I was looking for another reason. I was trying to decide if she’d be offended by me asking to talk to her.
She wasn’t in the least and I had a great conversation with Jamie! We talked briefly about how she felt when finding out that their little baby still in utero wasn’t perfect in the eyes of the world. The option of abortion was even brought up. Ethan is the cutest little boy and the short time I spent with him I wanted to just snuggle right up to him. What a shame for the doctors to suggest that he shouldn’t be born.
They hurt. They hurt more than you can imagine. It’s up to us as parents to teach our children…and ourselves to smile and be kind. It’s okay to ask questions. We are humans after all! It’s nature that we are curious and wanting to know more – but do it without a judgmental 2nd and 3rd looks. Be curious with an open mind and heart!
Caught with the opportunity to have a teaching moment with your child?
Here are some key points to remember:
- God created each one of us special and unique.
- Smile. Ask the little boy or girl to play!
- Respond. Don’t ignore your child if they have questions. It’s how they learn!
For the older children:
- A disability or physical deformity doesn’t make someone less of a human then you are.
- Don’t assume anything. It’s better to ask questions then to stare.
- Be the ‘bigger’ person. Tell your friends that it’s not nice to say mean things – by speaking up you are now a hero.
Shortly before they left she admitted that she even judged me. She saw me with my computer and was afraid that by sitting at a table near me they’d be bothering my work. When I started to approach her before I was able to get my question out her thoughts were running through her head “Oh no, this woman is going to ask us to move. We are too loud.”
Little did she know that I’d be asking her to talk about judgments and assumptions!
For more information about hydrocephalus and for group support please visit:
7 Responses to “A Mother’s Strength & Advice: Hydrocephalus”
Cherrie Bautista from Young And Fabulous
6 months ago
True, kids would always be curious no matter what. Jamie’s attitude of looking at other people’s reactions as a learning opportunity for them is just inspiring. We as parents need to talk to our kids about these things so that they are aware that we are all created equally by God so kids with special needs doesn’t mean they are less of a human than we are.
Great interview!
Cherrie Bautista@Young And Fabulous´s last blog ..On Young And Fabulous: Your Limiting Beliefs
Alaina Frederick
6 months ago
Yes! I love that Jamie isn’t offended but instead uses the chance to show kids to be kind! Love it! Thanks for stopping by and commenting!
Janice - The Fitness Cheerleader
6 months ago
Great job Alaina! I didn’t know you had a special needs child. You showed great courage, and you certainly were straight forward with your questions! Those are the kinds of things I would be to shy to ask.
Janice – The Fitness Cheerleader´s last blog ..Are You Comforting Yourself With Food?
Alaina Frederick
6 months ago
I’m so glad I stepped out of my box and spoke with Jamie – it was a great chat and lesson for the both of us I’m sure! That’s the point of the Judging Before Asking series – I want to ask the questions many of us are thinking but afraid to ask!
Kim from Mentally Inked
6 months ago
That is so sad that she thought you were going to ask her to move! I try not to do the rude staring & often wonder if I go too far in the other direction, trying not to be rude…
Kim @ Mentally Inked´s last blog ..Some Like It Hot
Alaina Frederick
6 months ago
Kim,
Thanks for stopping by. Sad yes – but it was totally natural and if I had a stranger approach me I’d be thinking the same thing! You are on target though with thinking you go too far in the other direction – stay tuned as we’ll be answering more of those questions that I can tell are rattling around in your head
Dave Simmons from Abdominal Trainers
2 months ago
It is a shame that kids treat other kids differently not just because of a disability but even because one is better looking than another. It is important to teach our kids why this is bad.