The other week I shared with my newsletter readers one of the reasons I started the ‘Judging Before Asking’ series. Today I want to share it with everyone.
First of all my oldest son has always been tall and looks at least a year older then he really is. So a few years back less than a year after having surgery and procedures done to lower his testes and check for blockages we were in a family restroom. As I helped my 4 year old into his pull-up I kept noticing a woman out of the corner of my eye looking at us in the mirror.
As we finished the same woman eyeing us for the last minute or so started leaving the restroom and just as I thought she left she turned and said “Isn’t he a little old for pull-ups?”
I never got a chance to say anything back. I didn’t even know what to say. First of all it really was none of her business. Secondly, all she had to do was ask me how old he was or maybe make a comment saying she remembered those potty training days.
Many parents of special needs children are subject to looks, stares, whispers, comments, and even worse on a daily basis. Parents of children with “hidden” special needs like autistic children get some of the harshest comments. “Can’t you control your child?” “If my child behaved like that I’d take him over my knee!” “What has happened to this generation not listening?”
They don’t know what we go through on a daily basis. They don’t understand the complicated routine required just to make sure getting out the door and buckled in the car goes off without a meltdown.
Join me Sunday April 18th at 8pm EST as a panel of parents and support group representatives sound off about parenting a special needs child. You’ll find us on Get Living TV only on Mingle Media TV Network!
Click HERE to join the live chat on April 18th!
Featured Panel & Guest List:
information coming soon
Audience members will also have a chance at winning a number of prizes!
Alaina Frederick
Alaina Frederick, publisher of Dinker & Giggles, loves helping to create a healthy environment for her three children and husband. Her favorite time of year is winter - trees blanketed with fresh snow, hot cocoa in hand, and a great book completing the package.
4 Responses to Judging Before Asking: Special Needs Parenting
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ooooh. That makes me mad!
My son was always big, too, and I’d get those looks at the grocery store when he had his bottle.
Some people need to mind their own business.
I’m so very sorry that you had to be the target of her rudeness.
Thanks Nicole! The sad thing is we are not the only ones and at least our stories are only “remarks” and “looks”. I know many parents have to go through worse – even questions on if they knew why did they carry the pregnancy full-term!
I agree that children with a hidden “disability” and their parents have to deal with a lot of crap. I know a little girl (who’s probably 19 or 20 by now who has a speech delay (it takes a few minutes for her to respond because she just can’t get the words out although she heard you and knows the answer) and I remember children and adults giving her a lot of crap for it. However, there is something to be said about the people saying “If that were my child I’d take him over my knee.” and, “What’s with this generation, not listening anymore?” They don’t apply to the differently abled, but they do apply to the generations starting with my aged adults and going on down to the infants born today. There is a huge lack of parenting going on. Children today ARE loud and disrespectful. I AM sick of looking at them, listening to them. I WILL be giving bad children and their parents looks. But then, so will my three year old. He’ll go right up to them and say, “You should know better than that!” He recently told a group of t-ballers that they were bad children for how they were behaving at a restaurant. The parents of so called “normal” children and the parents of so called “disabled children” need to make sure that their children ARE behaving the best that they can. I wouldn’t expect a twelve year old “normal child”, or a six year old for that matter, to have a temper tantrum in public. I would expect that from a two or three year old. I’d also expect that parent to make sure it ended right away or that the child was removed from the area so as to not tick off everyone else around them, and as a sign to the child that they are being naughty. Sorry, that’s one of my buttons. And, no, it’s not right that people look at you funny when you’re pushing a child around in a stroller when they appear to be six or whatever, but it is human nature for people to be curious about that which is different from themselves. So, unfortunately, I don’t think it’s going to ever stop, or get easier. So, just keep you head up… and next time you see a “normal” kid misbehaving… give them a disapproving glare from me!
Thanks Marissa for sharing your point of view! One thing that I really hope that we can get out in the open is that people need to start TALKING!! Asking questions and opening dialogue so we can all learn and grow from each other. Again thanks for stopping by always love reading your comments!