Labor of Love: A Birth with a Doula

The time has come for your baby to be born. What an exciting time!  Whether its your first or fourth child, decisions have to be made.

Do I want a medicated or natural delivery?

Who do I want in the room with me? 

Many people opt for an epidural and to have their coach (husband, boyfriend, mother, etc) in the room with them, but how many people think about a natural, drug-free birth with a doula by their side?  ‘What is a doula?’ That was my question when I was first introduced to this. Four years ago the word doula was foreign to me. Who has ever heard of a doula and what could one possibly do for me?

I can now say that not only have I used a doula, but I share a very special bond with her and am working on becoming a certified doula myself. I wont bore you about the details of what a doula is and what they do exactly…DONA International has wonderful information on that. I will though, tell you about the amazing experience I had during the birth of my daughter with a doula by my side.

In the Beginning

Four years ago after attending a childbirth class, my husband and I met a doula.  Our goal was for a natural birth, so we went home, talked it over and agreed to hire her. I was skeptical at first but thought I’d try it. I wanted so badly to have a natural birth like ones I had read stories about, but was a bit nervous to try it on my own.

Nine days before my due date I went in for my routine weekly doctors appointment. I walked out of that office with tons of emotions. I was told to report to the hospital after dinner to be induced. I was excited, I was scared, and was even a little sad because this wasn’t how it was suppose to be. I had no time to prepare! In the matter of a few hours, our little girl was coming. Though this wasn’t my first baby, it had been over 8 yrs since I had given birth! When I had my son, I was very young, inexperienced, and had every drug they offered to me to cope with the pain. I wanted this birth to be different, but the thought of a natural birth honestly scared me! I wondered if I could really do it.

I went home, packed my bag, called our doula, and headed for the hospital. I was holding back tears on my way there and tried hard to focus on the excitement of finally getting to hold our baby girl.  I was only at the hospital a few minutes before our doula arrived. I greeted her nervously. I was still a bit freaked out about having a complete stranger by my side while I was in labor, exposed, and in a very vulnerable state.  What I thought would be awkward, turned into something amazing!

Then It All Clicked

There I was, lying in that bed working my way through each contraction with my husband holding one hand and my doula holding the other. I felt so comfortable, even though I was in terrible pain. Together the three of us worked through one contraction at a time, laughing and joking in between them like she was an old friend. Then it hit me…. I suddenly felt like I’ve known this woman my whole life! She understood me! She knew the pain that I was feeling, and most importantly, unlike the nurses, she stayed by my side the entire time.

When I got discouraged, she lifted me up. When I felt that I just couldn’t continue, she helped bring me back to where I wanted to be.  When I cried, she wiped my tears. She was there holding my hand, guiding me every single step of the way, and helping my husband – DADS & DOULAS

After eight hours of labor, our beautiful daughter came into the world.  Our wonderful doula caught the touching moment of my husband crying like a little baby on camera for us. He, of course, has made me vow not to show that picture to anyone, but what a beautiful picture it is to cherish!

I can’t help but wonder if that birth would have gone differently if she hadn’t been there. Would I have opted for an epidural? Would the labor have been longer, or more painful?  Would our daughter have had any health issues if I had gotten pain medication? None of that mattered though because I had gotten the natural birthing experience that I wanted and our daughter was healthy. I was so happy with the way everything turned out! I often look back at that day, one I will never forget. The births of my children, by far are the best days of my life. I treasured every minute of each pregnancy, labor and birth of all three of my kids (Yes, even the morning sickness, heartburn, and terribly painful contractions) This is the true meaning of “labor of love.”

After, my third child was born, my husband and I decided we were happy with the three amazing children we have (two boys and a girl) and we chose not to have any more. I know I made the right decision, but sometimes I find myself lying in bed at night with tears running down my cheeks  because my baby is growing up so fast and I know there will be no more. Even though my youngest is only three months old, he’s growing so quickly and I will never hold a brand new tiny newborn of my own again.

From Client to Mothers Helper

As strange as it sounds, I miss being pregnant already. I actually enjoy being pregnant and everything that comes with it. I miss laying in bed late at night and feeling the little (or sometimes not so little) kicks from inside of me. Although that chapter of my life has ended, another chapter is just beginning!  I want to help other women the way my doula had helped me.  Nothing in this world compares to the moment a life comes into this world and I want to be a part of it again, even though I myself wont be having any more babies. Through the experience of having a doula, I have decided to become one!

I am available in the Warren, PA area to attend births. If you are pregnant or know someone who is pregnant and would like to learn more about having a birth experience with a doula, please feel free to contact me and I would be happy to answer any questions or meet with you. The What is a Doula? informational piece can help answer a lot of your questions as well.

According to She Knows Parenting:

Women who give birth with the support of a doula experience greater birth satisfaction and are:

• More likely to have shorter labors and give birth naturally without the aid of vacuum or forceps
• Less likely to need a Caesarean section
• Less likely to request pain medications and more likely to experience feelings of satisfaction with their birth experience
• Their babies are more likely to thrive and less likely to have low 5-minute Apgar Scores

What about you? What is your ideal birth and what are some moments through pregnancy and labor that touched your heart?  I would love to hear them – childbirth is such an amazing moment in life!