When my husband and I first found out we were pregnant we were ecstatic. We went out and did everything that your typical mainstream first time parents would do in preparation for our child’s arrival in to the world. We had our baby registry, bought the crib and read all the books. When it came to the topic of infant feeding I just assumed I would breastfeed and it would all work out perfectly.
The day of my daughters birth nothing went as planned and I was pressured in to an epidural I did not want. My labor stalled, there was me conium in my waters and the NICU team was called in, in case a transfer was needed for my baby. I felt numb during the entire ordeal and knew this was not the way birth was supposed to be.
My daughter was handed to me tightly swaddled in a blanket with a hat on her head & eye prophylaxis making it difficult for her to open them up and see me. I was still trying to grasp what had happened and nervously asked the nurse if I could try breastfeeding. She said sure, let me get you to your room first. Some time had passed before I was finally able to try and get her to latch. It was difficult and painful. I was unsure that I even had milk!
A nurse came in for a quick visit, assured me that I had milk and that the latch looked fine. I kept attempting to breastfeed throughout the night, completely unprepared for how often she would wake. I felt even more pressure having to notate every feed on a sheet of paper another nurse had given me with the time, length of feed and which breast I was using. Having been awake the past 48 hours this was not an enjoyable task as I was still trying to figure out how to even breastfeed. The next morning things did not get better.
My pediatrician came in and basically told me in a nutshell that my baby was hungry, I had no milk, her jaundice was worsening and if I did not give her a 2 oz bottle she would be admitted and I would be sent home, she also informed me that if I nursed longer then 15 minutes on either breast, breastfeeding would not work.
I was so overwhelmed I cried and just gave my baby the bottle of infant formula she had handed me. How could it be that at 21 years of age, with no previous complications, my body was failing at being able to feed my own baby. I went home feeling depressed and at a loss. This was supposed to be a happy and joyous time but those feelings were just not there. Once home I continued to feed my baby formula with the tremendous amount of free samples I received from the hospital. I attempted to latch her on before every bottle feed, cringing and dreading it every time. My nipples cracked and bled. I couldn’t even wear a bra or a blouse. I was just looking at my mother to tell me it was ok to quit and that I tried, but she didn’t.
On my daughters fifth day of life I woke up with engorged breasts! Lo and behold I had milk! My mother went out that day and bought me a breast pump so I pumped myself into insanity the first 3 months of my daughters life. Unfortunately I was one of those women who cannot get much milk out with a breast pump so I was literally pumping around the clock to be sure I had enough milk for her next feed. Mastitis hit me as well. I was at my breaking point yet again. Being a SAHM at this point my husband would take the car to work and I was basically stranded at home with a baby I was struggling to feed alone.
I had never heard of La Leche League or knew of any breastfeeding support hotlines so I turned to the internet. It was there that a new door opened to me and I enveloped myself in all things breastfeeding, chatting on forums and reading articles. I called my mother and she finally told me to just put the pump away and try to latch the baby. So I thought to myself it was now or never.
I feel very lucky in that my daughter finally latched correctly at that point and we went on to breastfeed for 22 months and into the first 4 months of my second pregnancy.
My entire ordeal led me to be inspired to produce a project in the form of a documentary exposing the masses of misinformation new mothers receive when it comes to infant feeding from our own doctors, families & friends. I hope to spark conversation on getting a decent paid maternity leave established in our nation to allow mothers to even establish breastfeeding and legislation enforced to prevent formula companies from using deceptive and unethical marketing practices. I believe a little advocacy can go a long way!
Leslie Ott is a mother who knows all too well the difficulties that arise throughout the journey. She is especially passionate about helping mothers in their breastfeeding journey and eliminating the confusion and unfair marketing practices from the baby formula industry. Her family is now on a mission of creating a ground-breaking documentary called, Formula Fed America.
You can find out more information on this mission at FormulaFedAmerica.com.
#1 Nice to meet you!
