I need to start off by saying I love my boys. I’m so grateful for my sons – their smiles, hugs, kisses, imagination, even their high-pitched voices that can sometimes get on my nerves and warrant dreams of puberty. With that being said I have to share about my hole. That little hole of longing. I’ve always wanted a daughter. Braiding hair, playing with baby dolls, and later having shopping trips.
It’s hard to explain.
When I was pregnant with our third son, Chunky Monkey we had a 3D/4D ultrasound done by an amazing woman that was also a friend. She knew how badly I was hoping, praying, dreaming and longing for a girl. I’d email her those few days before the appointment giving her the countdown to my appointment. I also bought a few frilly dresses too.
Then came the appointment. I was more then excited. Hubby, Dinker, and Giggles were there with me marveling at the sound of the heartbeat. Watching the baby suck his thumb and then she got quiet. I saw it just milliseconds after she did – it. The third leg. It was for sure a boy. Before we even pulled out of the parking lot I was bawling.
I lost a part of me that day. It was my last chance at having something I had always dreamed. A daughter.
Fast forward two and a half years and I’m still not over it. Every time someone asks me if we are going to have another or try for a girl I never know how to answer. Logically the answer is no. We can’t afford another child nor can my sanity level.
But today I now have a daughter. It may not be in the way I always dreamed of. I may not have carried her in my womb nor do the kids share any DNA – but she’s real and now my ‘daughter’ and the boys ‘sister’. Soun Phalla is a orphan that we are sponsoring through SEAPC Raising Kids. Each month I’m helping make sure she has food, clothing, shelter, education and love while she stays in a orphanage/private school.
As soon as I get the okay I’m going to post her picture and county – but for her safety and the safety of other children at her school I’m holding off on posting it.
It doesn’t fill the entire hole I have in my heart, but it does help.
We get to write to her and send pictures, drawings and items for Christmas too! The boys were so excited when I tried explaining things to them – I think the whole “drawing/art project” part was what they focused on.
So now… in a way… I have a daughter.
#1 Nice to meet you!
Congrats.. I have always wanted to do that myself. Might have to look into it. Thanks
Thanks! I’m glad we did it and with SEAPC Raising Kids – they are the group I went with to China/Tibet so I know them and trust them in child sponsorship. Some of those TV commercials always have me wondering. You should request some information from them
awww that is really cool, Congrats on the new addition to the family. HUGS!!
Thanks Julie
Oh, congratulations! I am very happy for you!
I have two baby girls and they are a lot of fun. You will get to go shopping for her and buy lots of cute things. But you are right, it gets expensive!
I kinda feel like you do though about wanting another baby. I’m too old (older mom) and we can’t have any more kids, but now that the baby is 14 months, I already miss the baby stage. Everyone keeps asking us if we’re going to try for a boy.
Can’t wait to read more about your daughter! Congrats again and thanks for sharing information about a good agency – they ARE hard to find!
That is so wonderful – for her, for you, and for your little boys. I am thrilled for you!